False Laptop Productivity
By David Kent, Mathematics, Class of 2011
The best study aid I’ve ever been lucky enough to receive was a defective laptop. Unfortunately, the laptop was in working order when I first received it as a graduation present. Once in college, I would take it to class with me and find games that had the right mixture of mouse movement and key combinations to mimic notetaking. It was a true art because each professor would lecture at a different speed. Then, one day, I was sitting on the quad, minding my own business and over-clocking my video card to see if I could get Crysis to run at maximum settings, when my laptop suddenly shut down. At first, I was shocked and didn’t believe that it had really died. Then, I became frustrated as my attempts to revive it proved fruitless. Finally, I accepted that my laptop was gone for good and felt it was time to move on.
I started back to the dorms distraught, drowning my sorrows in a generic energy drink. In the midst of my dolor, I looked up and saw my salvation: the Kelvin Smith Library. The Kelvin Smith Library is an under-rated study center. It is impossible to game on their computers. The internet is fast enough to check email or look up a word, but moves at glacial speeds when it comes to online flash games. Any pre-installed games have been removed, and the university is too paranoid to let you run a game, or any other executable file, from your flash drive. The only program the computers do have is an outdated version of Microsoft Word; effectively, the computers at KSL can only be used to write papers. Furthermore, KSL is not your dorm room, which means that your friends are much less likely to bother you. It is possible to study in your room, but only with a strict lack of attention to hygiene. Also, the atmosphere in KSL is quite different from the rest of the campus. The sole purpose for the building to exist is to help people study. There are no TVs to distract you and no music to disrupt your train of thought. It is a mausoleum where people are buried deep in their studies.
Unfortunately, cellular reception is strong inside the library, so I suggest you simply turn your phone on silent if you plan to study. I imagine it is also convenient to find and read books there, but I have yet to do so. In short, if you want to actually write that essay or finish that homework, go to KSL, where homework is the only escape from boredom.
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